Abused
by EndlesslyDreaming1
Summary: WARNING FOR MATURE CONTENT-Dean and Castiel are a couple,they've been living a happy life together for years,until Dean turns to drink causing something dark inside him to takeover. This change in him causes a drift in his relationship,ending in tradegy.
1. Chapter 1

Abused: Chapter 1

You think you know someone,until they literally stab you in the back.

"state your name for the record-"

A young,middle aged man sat forward,chained to a table in the interogation room,opposite him sat a rather overweight police officer,_one too many doughnuts_,he thought to himself as he went to speak into the voice recorder propped perfectly in the middle of the table.

"Eat shit and die chief Wiggums your wasting your time"

An irritated grunt came from the officer opposite.

"Th-The Names Dean Winchester-" eyes rolled.

The officer in question removed a file which had some rather gorey looking crime scene photo's sliding them across to the suspect rubbing his lips together,looking eager to get out here.

Glancing down at the photos he quickly scanned them then looked up at the officer"am I supposed to be impressed?"

The officer shrugged sitting back casually in his seat swinging back slightly "you tell me Winchester,your the one who caused this mess."

Dean just laughed at him turning his head away shaking his head dismissively "you people are idiots,you got the wrong guy...I found him...but I did-didn't kill him."he gulped looking down at his feet now already feeling like he was going to lose control of himself,_this is bullshit_.

"right you found him,then why did we find your finger prints allover him,and the murder weapon?"he checked for his response "oh thats right we found the knife,and we have plently of witnesses who saw the two of you going into the house together."

"NO...okay you've got this all wrong-"he sounded panicked now it all came flashing back to him now "I would never hurt him."

"This isn't the first time that you lost your temper with him is it Mr Winchester,a couple of months ago he rang 911 in response to his partner physically assaulting him,his partner in question was you at the time,I think that maybe you two had an arguement,you said somethings you both regretted and things got out of hand"he shrugged his shoulders looking right in the mans eyes"correct me if im wrong."he said smugly,he was totally on to him,there was no getting out of this one and he knew it.

Dean gritted his teeth,trying his upmost best to keep it together "Shut up,you don't know anything,words can be decieving,and if you chuckleheads had done your homework,you would've learnt that he had he was having difficulty with his ex Emelia,she was harrassing him,stalking him."

"Well thats funny because we tried talking to her and shes been dead for a year,so tell me how exactly she's been anywhere near him,oh wait unless her ghost magically appeared and stabbed him 47 times in the back"

Dean was getting irritated now,he rubbed his lips together nervously, he took a long pause sitting there in silence for a good 5 minutes flashing back to the moment,the moment where he took a life,he felt sick to the stomach,6 months ago they were a happy couple and now one of them was dead "I did-didn't mean to kill him-"his voice broke as he finally admitted to the crime staring down at the photos of his lover disfigured and now extinct, he reached as far as he could and smiled weakly running a fingerprint over the photo.

"Castiel was the love of my life...and I killed him,that what you want me to say...I'M guilty."he turned his face away for a moment and smirked,a malevolent cackle escaping his lips. "I enjoyed it too,he had it come..YOU HEAR ME,THE BASTARD HAD IT COMING."he gritted his teeth the anger and rage inside him building up he was this close to exploding.

The officer removed the photos from his sight staring back at the monster now also staring back at him, a coldness in the suspects eyes now "get this pyschopath away from me,your going down for a very long time Mr Winchester."

Dean glared back at him a crazed smile on his face winking at him as he was escorted out of the room.

**6 months earlier**

11.35pm

"Oh come on...come on,your telling me you've never seen star wars before,its a timeless classic,how could you not of seen it before?"

Castiel crossed his legs sitting back in the comfy brown leather sofa in their bachelor pad and shrugged"I dunno,just not for me I guess."

"But,its star wars dude"he pouted as if offended by the idea "I need to get you to watch it,we are so having a movie night,i'm making you watch it."

Castiel gave his boyfriend a roll of the eyes handing him a bottle of beer,he wasn't exactly going to argue with him "didn't realise you were that much of a loser Dean,you pull the tough guy act when your out on a case but inside your just big ol' geek aren't you"he cheekily pulled at his cheeks and smirked teasing him.

"Shut up,says you who says pretty woman is their favourite movie of all time."

Castiel scoffed "HEY..its good film,never diss a Roberts film,"he said defensively. "and hey you said you enjoyed it,infact if I remember rightly you were crying your eyes out at the end,no chickflick moments my ass"he smirked.

"Whatever dude"he cranked open his bottle of beer and took a swig.

Castiel let out a little chuckle to himself,satisfied that he had won that round. He shifted over beside him and put his arms round him "so what are we doing tonight?"

Dean raised an eyebrow as he went in for a snuggle "I dont know about you,but i'm getting an early night me and Sammy are meeting for lunch,he has something big to discuss with me,I don't know,not in the mood for him,either Jess is pregnant or they're getting hitched and i'm sorry but im like snooore"he rolled his eyes.

Castiel pouted"N'aww im sorry baby,I know you don't get on with your family Dean but maybe knowing is for the best,it must be pretty big if they want you there."

Dean shrugged "yeah I guess."he let out a heavy sigh letting out a small sigh his hands exploring his lovers face "you coming to bed?" he asked him running his fingers now to his ears stroking his earlobes and then wrapped his hands round his neck pulling him into a soft tender kiss.

Castiel wrapped his arms round his lover letting out a soft moan as they embraced each others tongues "well since you asked so nicely then how could I say no"he answered quietly.

Dean took his hand pulling him gently off the sofa and headed straight for the bedroom "well come on then sexy,lets get to bed." he stripped down to his boxers glancing over to Cas who had his back to him,checking out his perfectly toned body,those gym sessions were paying off afterall. He grinned setting his alarm then crawled into the double bed that he shared with Cas.

Castiel followed suit turning onto his side and smiled as he looked over at Dean turning the switch on the bedside lamp "I love you Dean Winchester."

Dean grinned running his fingers through the brunettes hair "I know you do you tell me every night,love you too,now go to sleep." he turned away from letting out a small smile closing his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Abused: Chapter 2

WARNINGS: SEXUAL/MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!

The light shone through the bedroom window causing Dean to jolt out of bed "argh sonofabitch". he groaned looking to the clock it read 10.34am, he groaned even louder turning to see if Cas was still there,he was perfectly sound asleep hugging his pillow. He grinned as he watched his lover sleep.

"So perfect"he whispered running a hand through his hair. He pulled himself out of bed,letting out a yawn as he headedthrough to the kitchen luckily it was just next door, a definate caffinine boost was inevitable to get him through the day, rubbing his eyes he yawned again and turned on the tv to the news putting the kettle on. He glanced up at the tv and frowned turning up the volume via remote as something caught his attention "sick bastards-"

"whats that?"

Dean glanced up as Cas came through "oh nothing,you know same old human on human violence as per usual."

"Its human nature Dean,I guess some people are just born killers."he shrugged.

"Hey my line of work calls for killing,doesn't mean im going to go around killing for no reason."  
Cas raised an eyebrow "yeah but your not a murderer Dean,you save the world everyday."

Dean smiled weakly as he tried to defend him "thanks Cas but I am,I mean think about it,all those demons I've killed,they've all been possessed by humans."

Castiel sighed gently stroking his stubbly cheek "your not a bad guy Dean, okay remember that,you are NOTHING like those people"pointing to the tv screen now. "Now you go meet your brother,then get your sexy ass back here,cause I got a surprise for you when you get back"he winked seductively.

Dean raised an eyebrow intrigued "Oh well I do like surprised,except for that one time when you tried to give me a lapdance for my birthday,that failed miserably"he laughed.

Castiel smirked "oh don't you worry baby,its not as hardcore as that,but I guarentee that you'll like it."

"Well I look forward to it,i'll see you later."he gave him a kiss then hurried out the door.

**4 hours later**

Castiel put the finishes touches to the table which he spent about 2 hours trying to set. He nodded finally satisifed, he turned on the tv and put on the dvd,then lit a few candles hearing in the keys in the lock "shit"he cursed under his breath not really prepared,but settled for what he had.

Dean slowly came through the door and quietly locked it not saying a word to Cas as he looked up.

"Oh your home,did you have a good time?"

Dean kept his head down giving him the silent treatment, he staggered past him throwing himself to the sofa rubbing his forehead.

Castiel looked down at his boyfriend confused,he noticed his little stagger,_jeez it was only 3pm_ "you drunk,did things not go so well?"he asked quietly.

"Not now Cas"he muttered quietly, he put his head back against the sofa feeling the whole room spinning.

"Look maybe I can help,if you just tell me what happened" he took a seat beside him looking up at him concerned,usually family meetings didnt turn out like planned for him but it never usually resulted in Dean getting drunk at this hour, he put a supportive hand on his thigh rubbing it gently "you want to talk about it baby?"

Dean pushed his head forward, he frowned putting his head to the side an irritated look on his face "D-Don't call me baby,you know I hate that."

"I'm sorry."

Dean pulled himself away "just fuck off will you, i'm not in the mood for you."

Castiel looked up sadly,a little hurt by that,but he knew this was the alcohol talking,it would all be okay when he was sober, and hopefully he would be willing to share whatever was bothering him,he rolled his eyes "I guess i'll just see you tomorrow then when you've sobered up."he pulled himself up only to be grabbed back down again.

Dean tugged at his wrists roughly "just shut up...I want you so fucking badly right now."

Castiel groaned pushing him away "NO..no not like this,not when your drunk,we'll do this in the morning"

Dean grabbed his other wrist throwing him down to the sofa,he swung his legs round Castiels hips keeping him locked down on the sofa "What I thought you had surprise for me..this is what I want."

Castiel groaned using his strength to push Dean off him again "DEAN..STOP IT,your drunk not now."but it was already too late,he heard the zipper on his jeans come loose,the agression in Deans behavior terrifying him "Dean" he breathes "please". He closes his eyes,the hold that he had over him too strong to fight off.

Dean rips his jeans off quickly and with ease,slapping Cas hard across the face "Don't make me hurt you"he glared his eyes so full of rage.

"Dean...don't do this please"he begged,not strong enough to push away from him,it was a weakness.

Dean manoeavered Cas onto his stomach the sofa causing some discomfort to him,but then he didnt care right now,still having him pinned down, he pulled his own jeans down and then his boxers invading his lovers entrance without any form of consent.

Cas cried out painfully as the tightness of the invasion caused his chest to expand,feeling like all the air in his lungs had popped like a balloon. "No-"he cried out breathlessly closing his eyes once more.

Dean thrusted hard and rough into Castiel the dominance over him sending him over the edge,clawing at Castiels back picking up the pace with each thrust rolling into his hips,punishing him further.

Castiel choked trying to pull himself away from him,tears blinding him as the pain became too much "NO...No..please stop...Dean." he really should just shut him mouth because the more he struggled the more he punished him.

Dean grabbed his hair yanking his head back,almost snapping his neck out of place "don't be such a fucking baby"he slammed his head down against the arm rest,pounding into him harder now.

Castiel let out a soft cry,feeling dizzy now,this wasn't Dean,this wasn't the man he loved.

Dean finally pulled himself out of him and got changed "fucking whore"he muttered under his breath,quick to change leaving him alone there to attend to himself.

Castiel lay for a moment trembling unable to comprend _What the fuck just happened_?

He slowly pulled himself up and curled up feeling blood mixed with sweat trickling down his forehead, he looked up slowly hearing their bedroom door slam tears in his eyes still.

The dizziness feeling overwhelming,he forced himself up his whole body shaking in agony, making his way to the bathroom collapsing against the sink,looking at his reflection in the mirror he felt ashamed,he attended to the cut on the top of his head wiping away the blood and covered it up with a clear plaster,he then reached into the medical cabinet pulling out some painkillers downing two with water then returned to the living room,cleaning up trying to control the sobs that seemed to take over,everything feeling numb. The night he had planned was completely ruined.


	3. Chapter 3

Abused: Chapter 3

**The next morning**

Castiel hadn't slept all night the horrors of the following day had completely taken over his mind, he was miserable,felt sick to the stomach and was tired of crying,he kept telling himself to stop being so fucking weak,but how could he not?

He jumped as he heard the bedroom swing open,he had no idea what time it was.

Dean came strolling through "Morning sunshine,your up early"he grinned rubbing his forehead "ugh my head is pounding,do we have any painkillers?"

Cas sat eyes wide staring into space "cabinet"he muttered quietly looking down trying to stop himself from crying again,just seeing his face disguisted him,yeah okay he was drunk last night but that was no excuse.

"Thank god,I got a banging headache,I should never drink on the job,never ends well."he sighed "HEY look sorry for coming home late,I know you had this big night planned,but Sammy dragged me into this job he's working on,you know how he gets,cant survive without his big bro."

Castiel swallowed hard pulling the blanket over him tightly lightly sobbing "don't worry about it"he answered back,his voice shaky.

Dean headed over to him after making himself a coffee and smiled weakly noticing how distant he was "everything alright?"

Castiel quickly pulled himself up needing to get as far away from him as possible being pulled back once more, Cas this time was quick to pull himself from from Deans grasp slapping Dean hard across the face "DONT TOUCH ME".

Dean felt the sting on his cheek leave a red mark,looking to Cas confused "what the hell is wrong with you?"

Castiel just laughed "are you really just going to stand there and pretend you dont know?"

Dean noticed the cut on Castiels forehead his eyes wide and paleness of his skin"HOLY SHIT,dude what happened,you've completely lost me?"

Castiel covered himself up and simply smiled "forget it,doesn't matter"he should probably explain,but then why bother it wasn't like it would make it all go away theres no easy way to say _"you raped me last night."_ he forced a smile "misunderstanding I guess"he let out a heavy sigh "i'm going for a shower."he quickly walked away to avoid anymore awkwardness.

Dean stood there baffled rubbing his cheek confused "Oooookaaay?" clearly something went on last night between them that he couldn't remember.

finally cleanesed Castiel got himself dressed knowing he would have to face Dean and probably have an explanation as to why he was acting wierd. He took a deep breath and made his way to the living room finding Dean sat on the sofa.

Dean glanced up awkwardly and smiled weakly"Cas"he inhaled then exhaled "i'm sorry...I dont even know what to say-"

"I do,you were wasted and out of your mind,whatever shit you and your brother did yesterday it completely fucked you up,and hey you just took it all out on me,no big deal."he shrugged.

"No big deal?" he pulled himself up "Cas...look at what I did to you,I could've killed you,I never...ever meant to hurt you like that."he remembered,he remember everything.

Castiel slipped his hands into his pockets awkwardly and shrugged "yeah..I know,it wasn't you,I know that"he looked down at his feet "can we just forget about it."

Dean rubbed his lips together nervously wondering if they could ever get past this "If thats what you want,yeah...look im free all day today if you want to do something,maybe go to the movies or I dunno whatever you want."

Castiel smiled weakly at him knowing how guilty he felt,giving him a nod "sure,but how about breakfast,its Tuesday and I know how much you love the special."

Dean grinned rolling his eyes "alrighty sounds good,just let me change first."

After breakfast,which by the way was probably the most cringeworthy half an hour anyone could go through the couple decided to return home, the day not exactly starting off so well.

Dean sighed heavily" how many times am I going to have to say sorry huh Cas, I was drunk,I didn't know what I was doing."

Castiel sat in the shotgun seat of the impala,arms folded and looking away from him "yeah I know I said it was fine."

Dean felt sick with guilt,he knew this was eating them both up "then please,just look at me okay,please"he pleaded,when Cas refused he got angry "Look at me dammit."

Cas jumped turning his head to look at him,he shook his head opening the car door and slammed it shut storming inside.

Dean gritted his teeth slamming his hands against the steering wheel "FUCK"he yelled to himself giving himself a moment, he reached for a bottle of 'hunters helper' taking a swig from it,anything to calm himself down. He eventually went back inside hearing Cas talking.

"I don't give a fuck you get him on the phone right now."

_"I dont know what to tell you,Sam's not here,call back later huh?"_

"you think im a fucking idiot,I can hear him now get him on the god damn phone this instant."

Dean slammed the front door raising an eyebrow "who the fuck you talking?"he slipped his jacket off throwing it aside clearly pissed off. "give me the phone"he ordered.

"so what I can't use the fucking phone anymore huh,fuck off."he went to walk away.

"CAS...don't push me,just give me the phone."he snapped snatching the phone off him and hung up.

Castiel turned to face Dean seeing the anger in his eyes "Dean...look I just I want answers,what happened last night?"

"Whats it matter to you,you've never given a shit what I do on my cases whys now any different?"

Castiel stood his ground,being very careful what he said "because your not yourself right now,i'm worried okay...I know meeting your family is always a fucked up situation but we share everything Dean...please,what happened last night?"

Dean gritted his teeth grabbing Cas by his shirt and slammed him to a wall ready to pound into him again.

Cas grunted looking into his partners predatory eyes,pain in his own "you going to teach me a lesson now Dean,hmm,I won't fight it." he simply smiled,but deep inside he was terrified what Dean might do to him.

Dean pulled himself away and held his hands up in surrender "I'm not a bad person remember."he shrugged, hating how this was the way things were with them right now,if he could rewind time and start over the last few days he would.

Castiel stood back against the wall still,slowly looking up at Dean,it was stupid of him but it was instinctual " I Love you." he said painfully,it was honest but forced,a way of calming the situation,if he said he loved him maybe all this would be better atleast until the next time he flipped.

Dean gulped staring back at his lover holding out a hand for him to take "I love you too." also coming across geniuine.

Cas willingly took Deans hand and smiled weakly happy to have him back for now, the rest of night was spent snuggled up against the sofa watching this old western on tv,Dean reciting the whole words,they were happy again and thats all the two of them wanted atleast for now.

**2 months later**

Things had gotten progressively worse,Cas hadn't left the house for months,Dean wouldn't let him,the phone had been disconnected, any communication to the outside world was impossible,he had once tried to steal Deans cell,only to call for help but it resulted in a pretty bad beating,he certainly wasn't doing that again soon, it had even gotten to the point that Dean was refusing to go on hunts,only to keep an eye on him. He didn't understand what changed in his boyfriend,if only he found out what happened that night he could make some sense of this.

He stood near the bed dripping wet looking down at Dean who lay casually along their bed "strip"he commanded putting his head to the side.

Cas nodded knowing he would probably want it over and down with so quickly removed his tshirt tossing it to the side.

"slowly"

Cas looked down,unbuckling his belt buckle slowly his hands shaking as he pulled them down standing there in just his boxers.

Dean let out a small moan having already removed his own.

Cas panted heavily already expecting what was to come but then Dean was changeable.

Dean pulled him forward by the waistband of his boxers "Come on Cas,my dick won't suck itself now will it?"he smirked "you know you want it"

Cas shook his head,after 2 months of abuse he couldn't take it anymore"Fuck you...im not your little whore that you can just use when you please,I am not afraid of you anymore, im leaving" he must of been insane but he couldn't stay in this damn house anymore,he managed to find something quick to change into hurrying to find something to defend himself with knowing full well that Dean would come after him. Holding a knife in his hands he spun round Dean already standing there.

Dean burst out laughing at him as he held the knife to him "don't play the tough Cas it doesn't suit you."

"Stay back...I mean it Dean,stay the fuck back,I'll use it if I have to."

"no you won't,you love me too much,come on im sorry...I was an idiot,I lost my temper I didn't mean to."he carefully put his arms out pulling his best puppy dog look.

Cas bought into this act in the past but now he wasn't that stupid"No...no don't do that"he gritted his teeth hands trembling knowing this was all a game but couldn't himself to forgive him,he did love him too much,that was the crazy thing of it,no matter what Dean did to him,he always took him back. He dropped the knife,preparing for whatever he was going to get.

Dean smiled taking his hand "there there its all going to be okay".

Cas smiled weakly completely missing the swing of his fist slamming him hard in the jaw forcing him to fall to his knees, and then comes another,and another,and the hits just keep on coming,he was definately going to feel his wrath tonight,I learnt not to escape before but as ever I was obedient towards him.

"You ever think about leaving again,i'll kill you"he took one last swing forcing Cas to fall to the floor,curled up. "go wash up,i'll cook us your favourite."

Cas laid there for a moment bruised and broken literally crawling to get himself away,it hurts to much to stand up,he tried to reach up to the table to pull himself up"Dean-"he called out to him desperately. "Dean...I can't move."

He doesnt get any response from him "DEAN...PLEASE,I NEED YOUR HELP" he pulls himself up far and the collapses to the floor,his head pounding,everything went numb and he blacked out.

When he woke he found himself in the bath full of warm water,he frowned al ittle dazed an confused,was this Deans way of showing some kind of remorse,cause if it was then fuck him,it was his fault that he was like this. He lay there paralysed,his whole body aching.

Dean came back through"your awake,thought I'd lost you for a second there." He knelt down beside him,cleaning him up,he took a sponge gently moistening it and dabbed it against Castiels eye.

Cas hissed,he could barely see but he could sense Dean near him "Dean?"

"yeah"

Cas wanted to cry,but it hurt to much "why are you doing this to me?"

Dean felt a lump in his throat,pulling himself up gripping hold of the sink bowl tightly almost breaking the porcelain, he swallowed hard looking up at his own reflection in the mirror all the anger,and hatred of himself came flooding back to him,the past months eating away at him. He slammed his fist into the mirror shattering it to pieces crying out a pitful and rageful scream.

Cas curled up into the corner of the bathtub terrifed "Dean..please calm down...please im sorry I-I didn't mean to make you mad."

Dean burst into tears "I...I couldn't stop it,I let that bastard take him, and kill him until there was nothing left."

Castiel frowned,even though it was hard to tell and gulped moving slowly towards him "who...Dean did something to happen Sam?"

Dean clenched his hand into a fist slamming it down into the sink looking over at his disfigured lover " Cas...i'm a horrible,horrible person...I am a killer after all,you were wrong,im bad to the bone."

"No your not-" he sat up reaching out to him "whatever you think you did,it was probably an accident...you can turn this around,help me okay,call 911, I think I have a few broken ribs...please Dean."

Dean shook his head at him "no...no your leaving me...everybody leaves me and I wont let you leave."panic in his voice.

"Listen to me...if I wanted to leave,I would've gone...look at the state of me,you broke me,you've hurt me...but i'm still here,it's because I love you...I'm not leaving you,I promise."

Dean looked up at him sadly kneeling down beside him "you still love me,even after all this,your crazier than I am."he smirked running his fingers through his hair roughly letting out a little laugh pulling him into a kiss,forcing it upon him "come on show me you still love me."

Cas moaned into his mouth slowly lifting his hands up placing a hand on his cheek,the kiss deeper and more intimate than before.

Dean continued the kiss until he was completely satisfied,then pulled away a small smile on his face "thank you"he pulled himself up leaving the bathroom.

"Dean...DEAN...come on please"he groaned completely helpless and in pain as he lay there naked in the bathtub.

Reaching an arm behind his back,Castiel tugged on the plug hole rinising awway the deep red water,feeling weak,his body trembling from the cold. He breathed heavy trying to pull himself out,he looked down finiding Deans cell phone on the floor,taking the oppurtunity he reached out for it to the best of his abilty,calling 911 immediatly.

_"911 whats your emergency?"_

"Helloo...I need,a doctor,police,hell send everyone,i've been attacked,I think I have a few broken ribs..please you've got to help me." he was practically whispering down the phone,not want Dean to hear.

_"We shall do our best to do that for you sir,can you tell us where you are?"_

"2214A Willow Street,please send someone quick,I can't talk long."

_"Is there someone else in the house with you?"_

"He's here...and he's crazy...hurry."

_"Dispatch is on their way sir,hang in there."_

Castiel hung up the phone throwing the phone back to make it look like it was in the same place and let out a small sigh of relief,crying out as he tried to move back into place.

Dean returned wiping away his tears "I'm sorry,let me make it better for you,get you patched up,you know how good I am with a needle and thread,you'll be good as new in no time."

Castiel shuddered looking up into his eyes and just nodded "I love you."I guess that was also his way of saying sorry.

"I know you do,you don't have to keep on saying it,i'll explain everything to you alright,I promise,everythings going to be okay."

Castiel just smiled reaching out a hand to touch his skin "hmm yeah...everything WILL be okay."

Dean frowned suddenly,Cas was up to something,he was far to calm,he looked back finding his phone on the floor,he reached for his pockets where he would usually put it,it was empty,turning back to face him "what did you do?"

Cas smiled still "saving you from yourself Dean,they'll be able to get you the help you need."

"You called the fucking cops...you idiot...why the hell did you do that because I pushed and shoved ya a few times?"

Cas flipped out "no shit sherlock...and you call this shoved,I cant feel my body you sick twisted son of a bitch."

"I'm not the crazy one in this relationship Cas...you had your chance to get out,first time I raped your sorry ass, and you blew it."

Castiel gulped "YOU can't hurt me anymore Dean,your going away for a very long time,they're already on their way...I won."

Dean gritted his teeth,panicked now quickly coming up with a plan ,he grabbed some gaffer tape,ripping enough off the roll to cover Castiels mouth and around his wrists and ankles,not that he was going anywhere but he can never be too careful. "you know I was actually going to give us another go,but no more." he heard a knock at the door,he looked back "theres my queue,now you be good for daddy,i'll bring you back a nice reward when I get back."

Castiels eyes widened yelling and cursing through the tape restraining him from speech.

Another tap at the door.

Dean took a deep breath opening the door slightly ajar and frowned"there a problem officers?"

"We're responding to a 911 call made 20 minutes ago from this address,you mind if we take a look inside?"

They were armed,there wereatleast 5 of them,shit this wasn't going to end well.

"911 call,I think you've got the wrong address,its just me."

The officers looked Dean up and down "we really must insist sir,if theres no problem then we'll be out of your hair." about to force themselves inside.

"Well I say unless you've got a warrant i'm going to have to refuse."he shrugged "now get off my porch" he wasn't exactly making himself look innocent but,hey he's a Winchester,he can make himself dissapear,like Criss 'fucking' angel,that dude was a douchebag.

"We'll be back,I suggest you don't go anywhere."

Dean gave them a smug smile and saluted "happy to do business with you officers." with that he slammed the door in their faces.

Returning straight to the bathroom he looked Castiel right in the face "thought they'd never leave",he ripped the tape off his mouth.

"Dean...please just stop this,I know you,you're a hero,you save lives you don't take them...please,your killing me here,just let me go,im begging you."

"I can't do that Cas,minute I let you go,you'll tell people what i've done."

Castiel shook his head "I won't I promise I won't,please come back to the good side,the darkside isn't you."

Dean gulped turning his back to him, he had a taste for this now,and it wasn't going to stop,its like he actually enjoyed hurting Castiel and that made him feel sick,he still loved him,but there was something deep inside his soul that was bad,that night something inside him changed,something he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

Abused:Chapter 4

**THAT NIGHT; 4 months earlier**

_"Sammy quit being a little bitch already,you asked for my help didn't you"_

_He held up his Colt 1911,safety off waiting for whatever nasty creature was going to come out after them._

_"Dean...I didn't ask you to tag along,It was just lunch,thought you might actually be happy to learn of our engagement."_

_Dean rolled his eyes "oh yeah im real happy for you Sammy,good for you."_

_"Hey you have your relationship,I have mine atleast mine is a stable one,thats normal."_

_Dean scoffed at that remark"what the hell is that supposed to mean,just because im in love with a dude you think thats not normal,I know your many things Sammy but didn't think homophobic was one of them."_

_Sam gritted his teeth rolling his eyes"I never said that Dean...its just...Cas? Really,the guys a loser,I mean you could have anyone Dean,you had no problem hooking up with girls or getting dates until he came along,you can do way better than him thats all im saying."_

_Dean glared back at his brother "do you really want to test me when I have a loaded pistol in my hand?"_

_Sam rolled his eyes searching the warehouse,he knew the creature was in here somewhere._

_Dean gritted his teeth in annoyance "Can we not talk about this please,just do the job so I can back to my life."_

_Sam rolled his eyes again "right ditch your family when your needed the real great."_

_"HEY...your the one that never accepted us,you put thoughts into dads head and made him disown me,I LOVE him okay Sammy,just accept facts i'm not leaving him and none of you can make me" their arguement was cut short when the creature in question pounded onto Sam._

_"SAM" Dean howled taking a shot at the creature,no hesitation in wasting the creature._

_Sam fell to the floor as the creature evapourated into nothing._

_"Yeah your welcome Sammy,I saved your ass for the millionth time."_

_When he got no response,it pissed him off more,he turned his back to him his eyes rolled doing his best Sam impression "oh thanks for that Dean.I really do appreciate you saving me and all"he turned back to face him again Sam still lying in the same position._

_"Ha very funny Sam-"he still didnt move "Sam...Sammy?"hurried down to his side,a coldness in his eyes as his brother lay there vacant "SAM,ahh shit."_

_He carried Sam into the Impala, driving him to whichever motel he had been staying in finding a business card in his pocket figuring thats where his dad was._

_Arriiving there an hour later he found out which room he was staying in and knocked on the door immediately greeted by their father,John Winchester._

_"Hi dad-" he looked up at him sadly "I'm sorry somethings happened,I didn't mean he's,he's dead"_

_John stared back at his so called son shaking his head dissapprovingly nothing but disguist in his eyes as he spoke those words,a shiver running up his spine. He slapped Dean hard in the face. "your no son of mine."_

_Dean clenched his jaw closing his eyes looking away shamefully "It got him before we could get to it...Dad..I'm sorry"_

_"I don't want your apologe,leave me Sams body and get the hell away from us."_

_Dean stared up hurt by that,all he ever wanted was to be accepted by his family,was that too much to ask,clearly it wasn't,because of his realtionship with Cas he was considered the freak of the family. He simply nodded carrying Sams comotose body to one of the beds having hte door slammed in his face as he left._

_Making his way back to his car the only thing that was going to make this any better was alcohol and alot of it,anything to help him forget. Holding himself responsible for his brothers death even though it was probably the creature._

**The present day**

Castiel had been laying in the bathtub all night,he turned himself over to make less uncomfortable for him and groaned,the stiffness of his back causing him severe agony,the lack of sleep also becoming an issue now.

Dean came through finally,it had been all night since he left him, he had a knife in his hand.

Cas widened his eyes terrified,was he going to kill him.

Dean went down towards his ankles,cutting the tape off ripping the remainder off then moved towards his wrist cutting that part too, he then carried him out of the bathtub "lets get you to a proper bed." He smiled weakly as he carried him to the bedroom.

Cas let out soft pained moans as Dean carried him,too tired and weak to have a response back,he had his arms loosely round Deans neck, being gently placed on the bed,he felt Dean put a blanket round him.

"I'm sorry my love,forgive me."

Cas lay there serverely bruised looking up at the man he loved a small smile creeping up on his face,he closed his eyes feeling himself drifting off to sleep.

A few hours later Castiel awoke to the smell of bacon,he sniffed letting out a small groan as he sat himself up. His head was pounding,and his whole body ached but was able to pull himself out of the bed,still having the blanket,he ditched it and instead put his dressing around him he staggered through to their kitchen finding Dean in there,trembling at the sight of him he just stood there.

Dean turned his head round and smiled weakly"you hungry?"

Castiel simply nodded,frightened to say a word to him.

Dean shoved a plate towards him "eat up...come on quickly,we don't have all day"he breathed "i'm going out,try get a job so we can keep this roof over our heads, I trust that you can behave yourself whilst im gone."

Castiel obeyed eating his breakfast as fast as he could.

Dean smiled sweetly at him "see knew I could rely on you,i'm going to go wash up,EAT you look like you need it." he walked away.

Cas watched him leave and carried on eating,he seemed to be in a good mood and he wouldn't want to ruin that.

Dean had been gone an hour and Cas had managed to get out to the back yard slipping through the snicket to the outside world he managed to find himself a pay phone,only have enough change in his pocket to make one phone call,_better make a good one._ He put the loose coins in the slot and dialled the first number that came into his mind,hoping and praying for an answer.

"Hi...it's me...can you come see me..please."he begged,desperation in his voice. "I'm at the payphone at the corner of Willow Street"he took a deep breath of relief"thank you." he put the phone back on the reciever and slide down the booth,waiting.

15 minutes later a blue 1967 Chevy Camaro pulled up, a red hair skinny girl came out of it wearing a summer dress she let out a heavy sigh finding Cas sat on the edge of the pavement with his head buried in between his legs"this better be important Cas,you've interuppted my daily Ellen marathon.

Cas glanced up at her coyly forcing a small smile revealing to his friend that state that he was in "hello Anna."

"HOLY SHIT... what the fuck happened to you,you look like you've been attacked by a gang."

Cas pulled his knees up to his chest "I didn't know who else to call."he sat there practically in tears "I don't know what to do."

"Cas...who did this to you,have you told Dean,the cops?"

As soon as she mentioned Dean he shuddered "NO...no you cant tell Dean..please I just want to leave."

Anna looked at him confused "YOUR telling me Dean did this to you,I don't get it,he loves you more than anything in this world,i've seen you two together and your his entire world,why would he do this?"

Cas stared into space biting at his nails and shrugged"been asking myself the same question."he frowned "He...he went to meet his brother Sam"he wiped away a tear streaming down his face "something happened that night I know it and he won't talk to me...Anna i'm so scared."

Anna looked down at him sadly pulling him up into a hug "shush its okay,you can stay with me for aslong as you want,I won't let him hurt you again okay,I promise you,you don't have to go back there." she put her arms round him helping him into the car and hurried round to the drivers side,driving them back to her place.

As soon as they arrived Anna came out helping Cas out "okay take it easy I should probably get you to a hospital,but he'll track you there,best to keep you safe and sound here,if thats what you want."

Cas nodded a little out of it "anywhere but there."he mumbled looking up at her with a weak smile. That little smile,that first genuine smile was a symbol that there was a tiny glimmer of hope,that maybe he would get out of this mess.


	5. Chapter 5

Abused: Chapter 5

Anna came through holding a tray with two mugs full of tea and a plate of biscuits. "here this should help,just sip it slowly"he put the tray down on the coffee table handing Castiel a full warm mug of tea.

Cas accepted it,cupping it in his hands "thanks Anna, you don't have to do all this."

"Yeah I do"she sat beside him "we'll get you to the police,you've got to report this Cas,the more you keep this to yourself the more control he'll have over you."

Cas shook his head sitting back "I can't Anna,you dont know how strong he is,the mans insane,he'll probably freak out when he knows im not there"he whimpered "he's going to be so mad,what was I thinking leaving?"

"Cas...if you stayed there another night he probably would've kill you"she took a small breath "its going to be okay we'll sort this out"she said supportively.

Cas took a sip of tea and nodded trying to be optimistic but it was proving difficult with everything that he had been through.

**4.5 hours later**

Dean unlocked the front door to their two bedroom house casually closing the door "honey i'm home."he beamed. He frowned when he didnt immediately get an answer back.

"Castiel?" he called out,calm for now.

"CAS...ANSWER ME,WHERE ARE YOU?"he yelled now still not getting an answer. He stormed through all the rooms each and everyone one of them empty.

"no...no you SON OF A BITCH-" he panted heavily every fibre of his body burning with rage. He went into their bedroom running his hands through his hair finding a photo of the two of them on the bedside cabinet, he stared at it for a brief moment a small smile on his face as he ran his fingertips along the cas part of the picture,he gritted his teeth now his nostrils flared throwing the photo to the wall beginning the trash the room out of anger,clothes,books,more photos showering the whole room like confetti "I FUCKING HATE YOU...DON'T YOU COME BACK..YOU HEAR ME,I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,DON'T COME BACK,don't come back"he broke down into hysterical tears,falling to the edge of the bed completely breaking now

"oh my god..what have I done?"

In situations like this where he felt like he was completely alone in the world,he turned to drink, and god dammit a drink would go down nicely right now,his face swelled up a nice crimson red as he pulled himself up off the bed hitting the bar,his only best friend for the time being.

Castiel had been asleep for hours,it was a relief that he even managed to sleep without having nightmares,I guess there was hope for him that he could come out of this at the other end,the end of hope and freedom.

Anna rang her hands through her long red hair watching as he slept on the sofa a small smile on her face, he looked so dreamy and at peace. She had missed him,they always used to have random days out shopping and going to the beach,and when he stopped coming over she wondered if maybe she had down something to upset him,now she understood,and it broke her heart. She gulped watching as he stirred "Hey sleepyhead."

Cas let out a sharp groan"Ugh...i'm sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Anna smiled weakly pulling his hair back off his face"shush..its okay,you looked like you needed it,you hungry?"

Cas shook his head "but an icepack would be good"he closed his eyes feel slightly disorientated and dizzy as he tried to move.

"Right...erm don't move a muscle let me get something to patch you up."she picked herself up almost tripping up over her feet, searching for her medical kit,she took a first aid training course so she was fairly confident she knew what she was doing.

Prepping up she made her way back through "alright this is probably going to sting like a mother but,it'll help, lift up your shirt."

Cas rubbed his lips together slowly lifting up his shirt wincing at how much it hurt "okay,just get it over with."

He smiled weakly being reminded of a time when Dean took him on one of his hunts,where he got himself shot in shoulder.

_"Argh...son of a fucking bitching shit,not so rough."_

_Dean rolled his eyes trying to pull the bullet out of him "quit being a baby,and quit fidgetting or i'll never get it out,besides thought you loved it when I played rough."he winked and smirked at him._

_"Dean,not the time-"he rolled his eyes,but couldnt help but laugh._

_"OH..oh got it"he dumped the bullet,dabbing his wound with disinfecant before placing a sterile piece of gauze to stop the bleeding,wrapping it up tightly "done."_

_Castiel looked down at Deans handy work and smiled "hmm my hero."_

_Dean smirked putting his arms around him "yeah well if you had listened to me and ducked you wouldn't of gotten shot."_

_Castiel smiled back at him running his hands through his lovers hair "hmm guess I love living on the edge,besides i've never been shot before,it was exciting."he beamed._

_Dean laughed at him pulling him into a tender kiss "you're crazy,but thats why I love you"._

Cas remained in his trance for another few minutes.

"Earth to Cas...you okay in there?"

Cas stared into space pain in his eyes and gulped "yeah fine."

Anna frowned putting the finishing touches to his wound and gulped looking down sadly "you were thinking about him weren't you?"

Cas shifted his eyes over towards her giving her nod"I love him Anna,despite everything he's put me through I still love him,does that make me crazy?"

Anna forced a smile at him "a little...but I suppose I understand."she said calmly.

Castiel rubbed his hands together looking to the side of as Anna finished off attending to his wounds "thanks...your like my little guardian angel"he smiled weakly.

Anna raised her eyebrows letting out a weak laugh "it's nothing."she shrugged her shoulders and sighed "you just relax,your safe here,he doesnt know where I live so he can't find you."

"Thank you Anna...I don't know what I would have done if you didn't pick up your phone."

"Anytime."

**2 months later**

Castiel had been living at Anna's house for 2 months now,it had taken him alot of courage to actually go out and socialise,always paranoid that Dean would come and find him, but was slowly learning to have a life,something he thought he would never get again. The scars from his several attacks still there but had faded,they were small reminders,I guess it was fates way of screwing with him, _you will never forget._

Strolling down the street he let out a heavy sigh carrying under his arm a bag full of groceries which he promised he would pick up. He hummed deep purples smoke on water subconciously to himself as he made his way past his old address not even realising where he was at first. He was in his own little world as walked up the street towards Anna's house bumping into someone "AHH SHIT IM SORRY,I'm an idiot I wasn't looking what I was doing."

All the groceries went flying,which didn't help, he looked up his eyes widened as he caught the mans face "Dean-"he gulped instantly stood there frozen on the spot.

Dean stared up at Castiel "Hi Cas-"he muttered awkwardly looking down "you look good."he forced a smile.

Castiel backed himself away so tempted to just dump everything and run "I should go."he mumbled quietly walking back in the other direction.

"Cas wait...please don't walk away...i'm sorry...i'm soo sorry."

Castiel stopped pursing his lips together and just laughed "right..you're sorry."he turned to face him actually calm,a stern look on his face "Sorry's not good enough."

Dean shook his head "Cas...I'll do anything,ANYTHING to get you back, I completely fucked up I get that and I hurt you-"he choked back tears looking up at him "but I'm nothing without you."

"It's too late,you and me are over,you made that choice on your own when you used me as your chew toy"he stood there confidently now,those councilling classes were actually paying off. "I'm not the same person you knew 4 months ago,I've changed." staring back up at him he stepped back towards him "You mean nothing to me Dean,so for your own good,leave me the hell alone." with that he stormed off not even bothering to pick up the bag .

Dean frowned watching him walk off letting out a light chuckle "yeah well we'll see about that." he muttered to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Abused: Chapter 6

Castiel slammed the door shut locking the door and put the bolt on,taking a deep breath

"its okay Cas your safe you made it...your okay"he told himself,freaking out a little inside.

Anna strolled in giving him a warm smile "guess you forgot to go to the store after councilling"

Cas took deep breaths driving to calm his nerves shaking his head "I saw him...Dean,we just bumped into each other and-"he swallowed hard.

Anna's eyes widened hurrying on over to comfort him "he didn't do anything did he?"

"NO..we just talked...he kinda felt different,like he really wanted to change make things better." he shrugged "he wanted to get back together,funny I almost considered it."

Anna checked through the cracks in the netting for any sign that he may of followed him "well I hope you told him where to stick it."

Cas glanced up at her folding his arms nervously "Yeah I did,think he seemed surprised."

Anna pulled herself away from the window and smiled up at him reaching out to take her friends hand" good for you,I'm just glad your okay".

Cas gave her a nod "yeah...so I suck,how about we order take out instead tonight?"

Anna grinned giving his hands a slight squeeze "sounds perfect...sex and the city marathon?"she winked.

Cas rolled his eyes "you are waaaay too addicted to that show...but fine,I guess i'll let you chose what we watch tonight."

Anna raised her fist into a victory punch "YES."

Dean peered out of his car window and frowned having slowly following Cas back to his new home,he frowned a small smile on his face watching the house like a hawk,having no clue who lived there but it must of been someone important to him.

Cas threw himself onto the sofa "Okay so what are we thinking,chinese..maybe pizza."he winked pulling out the takeout menu's from the drawer.

"PIZZA,DUH"

Cas laughed at her waving the pizza menu in her face "okay let me order,usual?"when she nodded he dialled the number and waited for response ordering their food "alrighty its on its way." He rubbed his lips together knowing he was stupid for thinking it but all he wanted was to see Dean again,just seeing him again even for a brief moment reawakened all those feelings he once felt for him.

"well don't just stand there,take a seat will ya."

Cas gave her a simple nod"I will but first need to empty the bladder"

Anna raised an eyebrow "thanks for that Cas"

Cas wandered off heading into the bathroom,locking the door suddenly shaking as he pulled out his mobile,clearly he was about to do some incredibly stupid.

Pulling out his blackberry curve from his pockets he strolled to his contacts stopping at Deans and gulped hesistating to press the call button at first.

He put the phone to his ear waiting for him to pick up

_"Was wondering how long it would be before you came crawling back to me"_

Cas tensed up "Dean...I...look,this is a one off,I meant what I said we're over...but-"

_"but-"_

"But..you geniuely sounded sincere before,like you really had changed,so I kinda feel like we should give it one more chance,under one condition."

_"I'm listening"_

"We start off slow,one date,just one to see how it goes."

_"seems fair,how about tomorrow morning,breakfast?"he suggested "will be my treat"_

Cas breathed heavy looking down at the floor,the palms of his hands becoming clammy "I...don't know,I don't...okay...tomorrow morning,i'll meet you there 8am on the dot."he immediately hung up not letting his former boyfriend get another word in, he took a deep breath and left the bathroom.

Dean sat in his car opposite the house looking over at it and smiled reaching over to the seat beside him slipping the top off the bottle of 'hunters helper' downing pretty much the whole half bottle, he let out a heavy grunt as he felt his the back of his throat letting the bottle drop beside him,he turned the keys in ignition and drove off.

Cas let out small sigh,needing a moment to compose himself,he put on his best fake smile returning to the living room noticing the takeout had already arrived"wow that was quick,I didn't even hear the door"

Anna set up the table placing the pizza box in the middle giving Cas a smile "yeah thats cause you were taking too damn long,were you peeing a river in there or something?"she laughed.

Cas smiled sadly then rolled his eyes "just put on the damn dvd."he threw himself to the couch thinking to himself that he probably made a huge mistake inviting Dean back into his life,for now though that wasn't his worry,all he cared about right now is spending time with his friend,he would worry about tomorrow in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Abused:Chapter 7

The alarm beeped loudly,ringing in Castiels ear forcing him up, he groaned slamming his hand down on the snooze button. He slowly sat up rubbing his eyes throwing the covers off him,he yawned then got up out of bed having a quick shower then got himself changed,not making much effort.

He let out another yawn as he strolled down the stairs slwoly hearing Anna was already awake "your up early?"he commented as he looked up at the clock as it turned to 7.45am.

Anna glanced up at him just plating up some pancakes "early shift at the store,gotta be there in about an hour"she said doing a millions things at once."Thought you would still be asleep..you want breakfast?"

Cas licked his lips nervously,looking down "nah im going to skip,get an early job hunt on,can't have you keep me rent free forever"he shrugged selling the lie "how about lunch?"

Anna frowned quickly munching on her pancakes trying to pack her bag aswell as eat at the same time "sure thing,i'll give you a call when I get off."she nodded,pulling him into a hug she gave him a kiss on the cheek "good luck today,let me know later how the hunt goes."

Cas pulled a smile staring at the empty plate now and then up towards her rushing out the front door"see ya later". he muttered dazed.

As soon as she left,he went over to the window making sure she was gone,then left also,locking the door behind him. He put his hands in his pockets,walking to the diner where him and Dean used to get breakfast every morning, it was a short walk,would probably only take him 10-15 minutes if he walked fast.

As soon as he got there he opened the door,letting a mother and daughter come out first,he smiled at them and then strolled inside,Dean wasn't here yet,that was a good thing,he wasn't exactly prepared for this yet.

He sat in the same booth they always sat, a waitress coming over.

"Can I get you anything?"

Cas jumped his eyes a little wide,feeling a little on edge now "oh erm no..just coffee for now,thank you."he forced a smile staring into space.

10 minutes later...still no Dean,was he being stood up?

"Sorry i'm late-"came the familiar sound of Dean. "slept through my alarm."

Cas looked up,terrified now,but he would hardly cause a scene in a public place anyways would he? "Erm no its okay"he took his coffee taking a sip.

Dean slipped in opposite him a small smirk on his face "I swear you got hotter,how is that even possible?"

Cas gritted his teeth,avoiding eye contact again,clenching his jaw he eventually got the courage to look up at him "don't try and charm me."

Dean held his hands up in surrender"hey, i'm just stating the obvious,relax will ya."

Cas sat back turning his head away again "I am relaxed."

"Clearly" Dean rolled his eyes unable to keep his eyes off him, he smiled over at him.

Cas turned back to him,both men staring at each other for atleast a few minutes, eyes still fixed on each other.

Dean reached out taking Castiels hand "you really are beautful Cas."

Castiel felt a shiver run up his spine as he said that,he smiled looking down a little embarassed "thank you."

The waitress returned interuptting their moment "you guys ready to order?"

Dean smirked flashing the waitress a wink "why yes sweetheart we are,he'll have a full english and i'll have the special."he grinned slamming his menu closed handing the both of them back to her."oh and a top up on the black stuff".

"you got it."she wrote down their order and left.

Cas frowned still having one of his hands in his "you remember what I have?"

"you kidding,course I do."

Cas looking into his eyes his pulse racing "you've...you've changed,you just seem different."

"good different?"

Cas smiled back at him and nodded,he couldn't tell if he was playing him "yeah good different."

Their food arrived instantly,Dean pulled himself away "oh man I could eat a freeking elephant i'm starving." He wolfed down his breakfast.

Cas was trying to stay serious but couldn't help but laugh at that "well your eating habits haven't changed." he took his time eating his.

Eventually Cas had finished,Dean being very patient "Erm so...now what?"Cas looked down slipping his hands in his jacket pockets looking down at the floor.

Dean rubbed his lips together already having an idea in his mind,he shrugged "well I suppose you'll want to head back to wherever it is your staying?"he sighed having a sincere sad look on his face. He took out a few bills throwing them to the table.

"It's probably best-"he stared up at him awkwardly slowly pulling himself up.

"Cas- Wait- come back with me,back home...just for a little bit,I don't expect you to stay but,just spend the day with me...please"he pleaded.

Cas shook his head,tempted "Dean...no I can't,I told you this was a one off,just breakfast."

Dean forced a smile"no you didn't mean that..you miss me,why else would you of called me?"

Cas looked like a bloody idiot standing there in public,actually making a scene "Because I love you,despite everything."he pulled himself away pushing himself past one of the waitresses leaving the diner.

Dean hurried after him "Cas wait...okay please don't walk away,don't leave things like this,what can I do?"

Cas had his back turned to him taking deep breaths knowing he was going to regret this,he turned wrapping his arms around his waist pulling him roughly into a kiss "just shut up and kiss me..wheres your car?"

Dean grunted against his mouth,returning the kiss,he moaned leading the way,not letting him go as he continued to kiss him, he pressed up against the impala doors not even bothering the fact they were allover each other in a public carpark.

They got in the car, Dean driving fast to get them back to the house, arriving fast he slammed Cas against the front door whilst trying to unlock it roughly forcing his tongue in his mouth,eventually opening it he stripped off until he was completely naked "you remember where the bedroom is dont ya?"

Cas panted heavily admiring Deans perfectly toned body,too caught up in the moment "screw the bedroom,here is perfect."he unbuckled his jeans pulling them down throwing them to the floor pinning Dean to the wall,he turned him round so his face was against the wall,forcing himself inside Dean, he rocked his hip against his letting out a little sob "I want you so fucking bad Dean..you have no idea."

Dean being the more dominant of two,he always was and he found this so adorable,"hmm i'm too damn irrestistable."he forced Cas out of him and grinned "down boy,we'll get to the good stuff in a bit,lets take this to the bedroom."he wrapped an arm round his lovers neck pulling him back towards him leading them to the bedroom, he pushed Cas to the bed.

"Dean...come on...stop with the teasing and fuck me..fuck me like i've never been fucked before."

Dean raised an eyebrow,well he did ask for it. "hmm do you really think thats wise,knowing what I could do to you?"

"I don't care...i just want you to love me,you know like the first time you charmed me in here,Dean please-" he was practically gagging for it.

"Don't be needy Cas,its pathetic."

Cas went to get up,dissapointed "okay..i'll just l-"he was cut off by Dean climbing on top of him pinning his arms down.

Dean held Cas down "your not going anywhere...Cas,not yet."

Cas felt a little dizzy suddenly a sudden flashback of when Dean raped him multiple times overpowering him "Okay Dean...just relax..okay,we're taking it slow remember."

Dean burst out laughing "BULLSHIT...so what was that right there?"he shook his head "you never wanted a slow relationship Cas" he turned him over,fucking his ass so hard and rough "You knew what you were getting into when you saw me,when we started this."

Cas groaned "I did...I knew your reputation...but..I never expect this...never"he breathed deeply unable to control his emotions.

"You really shouldn't of come back Cas."

Cas lay there once again helpless,anxiety taking over,feeling his chest tighten "Dean..I can't breath-"

Dean pushed himself inside him further "SHUT UP...JUST SHUT UP,JUST ACCEPT IT...SHUT UP" he pulled himself slipping himself out of the brunette grabbing at his hair.

Castiel turned himself round immediately pulling himself up breathing quickly and panicked "Dean?"

"GET OUT...GET OUT RIGHT NOW"

Cas stood there frozen overwhelmed,something was different,Dean had the oppurtunity to hurt him further but he didn't so why didn't he?

"CAS GET THE FUCK OUT" he roared.

Cas oblidged he hurried out searching for his clothing quickly getting himself changed,he really should stop doing this but he never learnt. He hurried out the door surprisenly calm now as he ran,running as far as his legs could take him,he arrived back at Anna's grabbing her car keys quick to go out the door again.

He needed answers and dast,whatever was happening to Dean,he feared it was out of his control and knew only one person would have the answers,his family.


	8. Chapter 8

Abused: Chapter 8

Castiel had never driven so fast in his entire life,driving to Lawerence,Kansas which would probably take him days,but hey he didnt give a rats ass, he needed to know exactly what had happened that night to cause Dean to flip out, he was never going to be with him again that was a definate but needed some answers,some closure atleast.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket,he reached into his pocket making sure to keep one hand on the wheel.

"Hello?"

_"Cas where the hell are you i've been trying to call you for about an hour?"_

"Anna, i'm sorry something came up...I err,kinda stole your car-"

_"what the fuck...Cas what's going on,just come by the store,we can talk about this."_

"I can't I love him Anna,and I need answers,please don't come looking for me,promise me you'll stay out of this."

_"Oh you have got to be kidding me..Cas he's a pyscho,he's not worth the bother,do you really want to go down this road again,he will kill you...now come home."_

Cas kept his eyes on the road,the sky turning grey,it was going to poor it down "I'm sorry Anna,I can't"he hung up the phone throwing it to the seat next to him.

The line went dead.

Anna widened her eyes "Argh shit"she pulled herself up leaving her shift early,having no idea where Cas would even be heading,but she had a feeling one person would know,it was risky but she had a plan.

Castiel hadn't been to Lawerence,Kansas since the first time Dean had introduced him to the family,this was certainly going to be an awkward conversation,but it had to be done if he was to learn the truth. He wasn't even sure if this was the right place,he knew Dean's family moved around alot,but this was the last known address that he remembered.

Pulling up he familarized himself with the particular street, he sighed walking up the porch,he rang the bell standing back he waited.

The door spun open,there stood Jessica Moore,in next to nothing,skimpy top and a mini skirt,she leant up against the door staring up at Cas.

Cas frowned recognising her straight away,Sams girlfriend. Good he was at the right place.

"Erm...hi you probably don't remember but-"

Jess cut him off,lighting a cigarette taking a short drag from the tip "I remember you...your Dean's fuck buddy."

Cas slipped his hands into his jean pockets looking down "we were a little more than that."he muttered quietly.

Jess rolled her eyes uninterested "right...so what do you want?"

Cas let out a heavy sighed looking up at her now "well I actually came to find Sam or erm Deans dad"he couldn't remember his name.

Jess gritted her teeth angrily at the mention of Sam "What Dean didn't tell you,Sams dead,he's been dead for months actually."

Cas frowned,his eyes suddenly widening "What...how?"

Jess turned herself away from him "why don't you ask your boyfriend,its his fault." she sighed heavily "if you want John,this is his cell,can't see him wanting to talk to you though." she handed him a business card "Now get the fuck away from me."

She slammed the door in his face leaving him even more confused than when he first arrived.

He returned to the car sitting there for a moment,completely lost,he gazed at the business card contemplating just calling it,even just to offer his condolences. He dialled the number and put the phone to his ear,praying for an answer.

"John,John Winchester? I this is erm...a friend of your sons, I have something I think you might want...can you meet me?"

_"Where?" he asked bluntly._

"Erm well i'm not really that familar with the area,so maybe you should pick."

"go to the first motel you find as you leave the city,come in hour,then we'll talk." He didn't recognise Castiels voice over the phone so wasn't going to refuse.

Cas nodded "one hour then" he hung up and sighed getting about a dozen missed calls from Anna, he rolled his eyes feeling selfish for not letting her in,but this was for her own protection.

Castiel pulled up at the first motel he could find,finding an SUV parked up outsside,John Winchester standing right outside it,he always used to scared him,the frist time he met him,and he knew he never approved of his and Deans relationship.

Castiel pulled out of the car when he parked "I know you probably don't want to see me but,this is important."

"Your damn right I don't,you ripped our family apart."

Cas looked down his lips quivering,shaking his head "NO...I didn't you just couldn't accept that fact that Dean was different, you know a man loving another man isn't wrong,its actually quiet normal."

John scoffed "It's not natural...and he was never like this until he met you,youmanipulated him,you changed him."

Castiel shook his head "say what you want about me,but Dean has always been like this,all he wanted was acceptance,I think I get now."he took a deep breath,feeling intimidated by John "anyways thats not why I dragged you here,I need to know what happened between Sam and Dean a few months ago"he nodded"by the way im sorry about Sam,I didn't know."

John glared at him "what happened was Dean murdered his own brother...in cold blood,shot him,because of you."

Tears began to sting his eyes shaking his head,not believing him "no...your lying,he wouldn't kill anyone,Deans not a killer."

"Well clearly you don't know him like you thought you did,cause he killed him,you know how I know,I made a deal to bring him back,it wasn't a supernatural death,so I got no deal now i have to live with the fact that both my sons are dead to me,do oyu know whats that like,losing a member of your family?"

Castiel rubbed his quivering lips still shaking his head,in denial even knowing how he abused and battered him he couldn't quite believe Dean was capable of taking a human life "I...I don't believe it."

John frowned "you really didn't know did you?" he let out a little chuckle "well i'll be damned,good luck to ya kid,cause your going to need it."he climbed back into his SUV "send him my love won't you."he slammed the car door,reversing out.

Castiel took a deep breath suddenly feeling responsible for all this,if he had never met Dean he probably would be happy,Dean wouldn't be a pyscho and his brother would still be alive,this was all his fault.

He got back in his car started the engine feeling like he had just wasted a journey.

He was back home,finally,driving through his small surbarbian town he pulled up outside Dean's,he hadn't stopped sobbing the whole journey back.

Stepping up towards the porch he hesistantly went to knock,the door slightly ajar he swung the door open slightly stepping inside the house.

Dean sat holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand,he was a complete mess.

Cas stood there in the middle of the living room looking down at him "is it true?"he asked in a panicked tone staring back at the man he once loved,he looked as though he had been drinking all night.

Dean took a swig from the bottle staring into space "what da fuck you talking about?"

Cas really didn't want to cross this line,he knew this would change things between them forever. "Did you kill your brother?"

Dean managed to lift his head to look back at Cas, he spoke no word but the look on his face said it all.

"Son of a bitch..."he felt like he was going to be sick "so you punished me because you couldn't live with it,do you know your family blame me this,your the killer yet it's my fault."

Dean sat there frozen on the floor"it's not your fault...Cas none of it is."he put his head in his hands quietly sobbing away.

Cas looked down at him with disguist at first,shaking his head "yeah well i'm glad you can finally be honest with yourself...but you remember what I said,your not a killer Dean,it was an accident..I know you better than anyone Dean,you were the sweetest and loyal and kindest person i've ever known,you stood up for us when people used to put us down,you believed in us when no one else would."he smiled taking a step forward. "The last few months have a fucking nightmare for me...but I know that wasn't you,I stuck by you because I knew you would see sense...I believe in you Dean and i'll never give up on us."

Dean closed his eyes the bottle falling out of his hand watching as it rolled away the golden liqueur pouring out of it.

Cas stopped the bottle with his foot and let out a heavy sigh. He walked over to him helping him out "come on lets get you to bed." he put Deans arm round his shoulder dragging him to the bedroom, laying him down on the bed then tucked him in. "sleep my love,it'll all be okay tomorrow,we'll get you the help you need."

The next morning Cas still sat holding a mug of very strong coffee in his hands sat by Deans bedside,he had been knocked out for 12 hours,but then an overdose of alcohol would do that to you. He sat up as he heard Dean waking up.

Dean groaned trying to lift his head,it felt as though someone had hit him over the head with a ton of bricks.

"take this..it'll help clear the head."

Dean frowned,letting out a small moan as he slowly turned his head "Cas? What the hell are you doing here?"

"You don't remember last night?"

Dean shook his head "well clearly not otherwise I wouldn't ask?"

Castiel rolled his eyes pulling himself up opening up the curtains to get some light in "you were smashed,after our failed breakfast date I came back to see you,you were smashed but then I shouldn't be surprised,you've been drinking alot lately."

Dean slowly pulled himself feeling like the whole room was spinning "oh quit lecturing me,your not my dad."

Castiel looked out the window and sighed "I'm just saying I know yo-"

Dean just laughed,cutting him off "oh save me the 'I know you better than anyone' crap,because you don't have a fucking clue,you don't know what i've been through."

Castiel turned to give him a look "trust me Dean I know what you've been through, I had to live with it for the last couple of months."he raised his voice,he let out a small sigh trying to remain calm "it took me 6 months to realise how twisted you really were and yeah I was probably stupid for coming back,I just wanted to help you get better."

Dean rolled his eyes having to force himself up "SEE THATS WHAT PISSES ME OFF ABOUT YOU"he yelled "your always desperate to help people,see the good in everyone,well newsflash sparky not everyone is good theres always a bad apple"

"You are,i've seen it,i've seen how good your heart is."

Dean rolled his eyes at him "Just shut up Cas,just stop it."

Cas held his hands up,giving up "you know what,screw this...you can't see it then fine,I won't bother wasting my time,i'm leaving."he stormed out heading straight for the front door, he ran his hands through his hair angrily.

Dean stood there for a moment trying to get his balance, his becoming fuzzy as he stumbled towards the front door, Cas had made it to the porch now. He hurried after him pulling him back "Cas don't walk away from me."

Cas let out a heavy groan and rolled his eyes "Dean,get the hell away from me,just don't bother." There were plently of people outside now,this was probably wasn't going to end well.

Dean grabbed him by the wrist"Get the fuck inside...please"he said through gritted teeth, he placed a hand against Castiels waist pulling him close to him "don't make me force you inside."

Cas looked down at his arm,feeling like Deans hard grip would crush his bones "No." it took alot of courage for him to stand up to him.

Dean pursed his lips together gritting his teeth together once more,_dont test me_. He thought to himself, he raised his arm up high slapping Cas hard across the cheek,the force of it cause Cas to fall to his knees "Get up..." when Cas didn't oblige right away he pulled him up,tugging at his hair pulling his head back "Don't ever answer me back again". He shoved him towards the house "get inside."

Cas felt his cheek sting,he panted heavily feeling like he was back to square one,doing as he asked now he made his way towards the front door.

Dean cleared his throat a brooding look on his face,he glanced up to the couple standing in the house next door,eyeing him up, he rolled his eyes,wiped his forehead and headed back towards his own house,pushing Cas inside the house.

Just like old times then.


	9. Chapter 9

Abused:Chapter 9

WARNING:Mature content ahead,blood,gore,and heavy slash.

"Your not listening to me...don't you people get it,he's a madman and he's on the loose,do your police thing and arrest him."

Anna paced around the small local sheriffs office,arms folded stressing out.

"M'aam without hard proof,we can't just barge into someone elses home."

Anna glared back at them "you want proof Sheriff,i'll give you the proof,if you just go to him,you'll learn,he's crazy,he's already nearly killed his partner Cas...please Sheriff you've got to do something,if he finds him he'll kill him."

The sheriff saw the desperation in the poor womans eyes,he sighed closing up the casefile that he had on his table,letting out a sigh he sat forward "Okay...whats the guys name?"

"Dean..Dean Winchester."

The sheriff typed away on his computer and frowned "he's not had any convictions,but a call was made about him a few months ago,a disturbance at his address made by a...Castiel?" he questioned the name.

"YES..Yes thats Cas,Deans boyfriend, okay he's the one in trouble."

The sheriff ran his fingers along his chin "alright..we'll check it out,but to be honest he seems clean to me."

Anna rolled her eyes and just laughed "trust me he's really not,he's a sick son of a bitch who needs to be put down like a deranged dog."

The sheriff glanced up at her,completely silent by her interesting description of him,he cleared his throat.

Anna looked back to him and smiled weakly"sorry-"

The Sheriff,gave her a nod "right well I'll get my deputy to have a look for you."

Anna licked her lips folding her arms once more "thank you."he muttered worried now,Cas was her only friend,she didn't know what she would do without him.

Cas breathed heavy holding his hands up in surrender staring back at Deans predatory eyes,who slammed the front door bolting the lock.

Dean turned to face him,his eyes wide and full of rage. He shoved Cas to a wall, tugging at his hair he slammed his head against the solid wall,sure to leave a bump.

Cas groaned staring back at Dean "Dean..please"he pleaded "I'll do whatever you want okay...just..don't don't hurt me."

Dean glared slamming his fist into Castiels jaw"Shut up."he bellowed.

Castiel let out a small whimper looking down at the floor,his breathing becoming heavier,he closed his eyes trying to picture happier times when they made love for the right reasons,not like this. He cried out another small whimper feeling his jeans come loose, regretting even coming back.

"Dean..please"

Castiels shirt came loose next,then Dean unbuckled his own jeans,he grabbed hold of Cas once more turning him round shoving the side of his face against the wall, his nails dug into his skin enough to scar and probably bruise.

Castiel kept his eyes closed,letting out an unhuman noise as Dean slipped inside Castiels entrance,feeling the monster inside Dean slamming hard inside him,quick,rough enough for it too ache,you'd think the amount of times he's had his entrance abused,it would feel numb,but no,he felt it all,every agressive thrust. His mouth opened slightly trying to cry out but this time no sound escaping his lips.

"Dean...please stop...I can't-" he opened his eyes only to let the tears streaming down his face run freely.

Dean pulled Cas's head back,grinding his hips against him,the force as he slammed into his puppet,more punishing, one last fuck before it all ends.

Castiel dug his fingernails into the wallpaper,trying to hold on,heart pounding hard in his chest,unable to fight this,what was the point? So he could get another beating? He had learnt by now,if you disobey Dean,you would get a nasty surprise. Feeling himself slipping,he groaned,the pain unbearable now.

Dean roared, picking up the pace, the animal inside him losing control. Their wet bodies colliding together "YOU ARE MINE..CASTIEL..AND YOUR NEVER LEAVING AGAIN."

Castiel's breath hitched,choking on his own saliva "Dean-"he managed to get out.

Dean slipped out of him turning Castiel round so he was facing him pounding his fist back into his jaw.

Castiel felt his neck jerk to the side coughing up blood, he collapsed to his knees and just fell curled up to the floor now.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"

Castiel pulled himself up slightly as much as he could without collapsing "you may aswell kill me Dean Winchester...because I will never be yours,I feel nothing,it doesnt matter anymore...hurt me all you want...I don't care."

Dean trembled,his whole body bubbling with rage once more,sending him over the edge "Get dressed."

Castiel choked coughing up blood again,trying not to show any signs of weakness but he knew this time,he probably wasn't escaping this. He licked his lips staring back at him staggering up doing as he asked struggling to stand upright.

"You do care...you want to save me lover...but it's too late,i've taken a life,its over for me and for you...you know too much now."he shrugged walking away towards the kitchen.

Castiel stood there shaking,the fear building up inside him. Dean was going to kill him, he knew that much. He collapsed to the floor again, crawling towards the living room,finding some sort of weapon,anything. Finding Dean's colt in one of the drawers he used the coffee table to pull himself up,being greeted now by Dean holding out a knife.

"So it comes down to this"

Castiel pointed the gun to Dean,his hands trembling "I guess it does-"he said through pained tears.

Staring back at each other,Cas closed his eyes flashing back to the first time they met,how happy and how in love they both were,how did it come to this? To them having so much hatred of each other?

"Goodbye Dean...remember how much I loved you-"he was hysterical,tears stinging his eyes.

He turned the pistol around sticking the barrel of the gun in his mouth,turning the safety off.

Dean glared back at him "don't you dare take the easy way out...coward."

Castiel smiled at him taking a deep breath,pulling the trigger, a firework of red stuff shooting from the back of his neck. Collapsing to the floor on his side.

Dean gasped falling to the floor with him "NO...NO YOU SON OF A BITCH"he roared gripping the knife in his hand,stabbing him in the back out of anger,and hate "how could you?" he dropped the knife to the floor after the 47th time of plunging the blade into him, he pulled Castiels body onto his lap and rocked with.

"Cas? Castiel...please...come back...come back please come back" the monster had left him now,holding his dead lover on the floor,he cried out all of the pain "I'm so sorry...I love you okay I love you,i'm so sorry."

Cas wasn't waking up,this was real,he had killed someone else that he loved.

He lay there for 10 minutes,holding Castiel in his arms just talking to him. He didn't care what happened to him now.

He put him down finally letting him go,kissing him goodbye he then headed right out the door.

_"state your name for the record-"_

_"Th-The Names Dean Winchester-" _

_"I did-didn't mean to kill him-"_

_"Castiel was the love of my life...and I killed him,that what you want me to say...I'M guilty."he turned his face away for a moment and smirked,a malevolent cackle escaping his lips. "I enjoyed it too,he had it come..YOU HEAR ME,THE BASTARD HAD IT COMING."he gritted his teeth the anger and rage inside him building up he was this close to exploding._

_The officer removed the photos from his sight staring back at the monster now also staring back at him, a coldness in the suspects eyes now "get this pyschopath away from me,your going down for a very long time Mr Winchester."_

**1 year later**

Dean had been convicted,having a life sentence on his tail with the possibilty of bail 4 years prior to his sentence.

Dean sat staring into space in his prison cell,not a day didn't go by that he wished he could take back everything that he did to Castiel,if only he could take his place then he would in a heartbeat, he deserves the death penalty but judges ruled that out, I guess they wanted him to suffer for all the crimes he had commited, that he definately did deserve.

"Cas..I know I don't deserve this...but I need your forgiveness...please,Cas I need you."

He heard the doors open the loud ring of the alarm pounding in his ears, he turned away laying down on the cold hard bed his face facing the wall.

Footsteps were suddenly heard,probably the prison guard doing his rounds. They stopped right outside Dean's cell.

"Hello Dean,it's been a while."

Dean immediately shot up staring back in horror,the gods must of answered his prayers either that or he was going crazy or the ghost of his dead boyfriend had returned to haunt him.

"This isn't real...your dead."

Castiel stood his hands placed in the pockets of a beige trenchcoat,he smirked shaking his head.

Dean rubbed his eyes hoping he was seeing things "so i'm going insane? Cas...I killed you how is this possible?"

Castiel stepped up against the bars his face distorted,pearlywhite,like he was dying" I am not Castiel...The Castiel you knew,is gone."

THE END.


End file.
